How To Become More Comfortable With Yourself

The relationship we have with ourselves, defines how we view the world around us. We must be our own best friends; very much nurture the relationship we have with ourselves. The times in my life where I’ve struggled the most have come when my relationship with myself had somehow become fractured. When I had body image issues, I saw myself develop a slew of other problems alongside this like having less confidence in other areas of my life as well. I saw my general self-esteem decline; I saw it affect my confidence in areas I was passionate about such as sport. This only made my body image issues worse and led to a sort of self-loathing where I was so fixated on this issue, that I neglected other areas of my life. I disregarded other good things happening in my life. I became uncomfortable with myself, even though I was still the same me. Nothing had really changed, except for my perception of myself. 

This is not to say that we should blindly and aimlessly lumber through life without working on fixing issues with ourselves, but it is to say that we must remember to appreciate ourselves enough also along that journey. That celebrity you see on the TV, Lewis Hamilton, didn’t get there by focusing on everything that is wrong with them. Becoming more comfortable with yourself is about learning to truly accept yourself for exactly who you are. The scar you have on your face. It’s you. The slight asymmetry of your face. That’s you. Your terrible fashion sense. That’s also you. Your lack of coordination on the dance floor. That’s you too. Now you’ll notice that I added in a few things you can easily change. You can get fashion advice from a friend/family member, and you can attend dance classes to get better at dancing. But it’s ok if you don’t become the next Bella Hadid, or the next Chris Brown. You are still very much you and should love and appreciate the qualities that you possess. Chris Brown cannot be the next me or you, as hard as he may try, so why not just focus on being the best version of you? Because the truth is, if you don’t learn to love yourself then it doesn’t matter how many times somebody else tries to convince you to do so, intrinsically you just won’t believe them. 

A great way to go about this, is to simply spend more time alone. Spend time really appreciating your own company. One thing lockdown helped me with was spending enough time with myself to the point where I became extremely comfortable with solitude. Being at peace with yourself. Comforting music can help with this, find your jazz, and get some headphones and drift away to another world when you need to. It can also be deeply therapeutic. Invest time in your hobbies but spend a fair bit of time doing them alone. I love to take myself out on walks, I especially used to love doing this in London. Just to take some hours in the day and explore some of the world around me. You also learn how to better deal with intrusive thoughts, how to bring your mind to a state of tranquillity. You don’t always have to do something, to be doing something good for yourself. Becoming comfortable with silence will allow you to deal with the often-noisy world around us. Quieten down your own world from time to time, I think we all forget to do that sometimes.